you can tell how tall the marsh grass, called spartina, is getting because the wind is blowing it over like it's hair, in long billowy waves. monsieur wind is running his fingers through mademoiselle spartina's flowing locks. it is very, very green out there, and so many greens! an island the bright kelly green of moss, patches that resemble kentucky blue grass, other spots the soft silver green of lamb's ear. a lot of the grass though is still short and stubby looking like that lawn starter landscapers spray on the dirt to get it going.
the herons are out and about. for the past week i've spotted two coming and going and i can't tell if they're female and male flirting with each other, or one guy chasing the other guy from his domain. once they land they usually stand ramrod straight for hours. but early this morning a small heron was right out front in the shallows quickly pacing back and forth like she was waiting for someone who was late to pick her up. however she must have given up because she just now flew off.
even earlier than the little heron this morning, about 5 a.m., the spartina was coated in crystalline frost. the billowy, willowy mist came cascading in on the tide. it used to be when i read mary oliver poems called foolish things like "pinewoods at 5 a.m." i couldn't imagine getting up that early, even for beauty. now i wake when i wake, nap when i'm sleepy, go to bed when i can't keep my eyes open any more.
i've been wondering for a while if time-wise i'm more on "kairos" rather than "chronos". writing those words just now sent me to the internet to learn more about this distinction, where i found a gem by Fr. Patrick Henry Reardon.
(i don't know anything more about him than this exquisite little essay; you can read it in its brief entirety at:
http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles5/ReardonChronos.php )
"...time in the sense of kairos cannot be measured... because it is always a now. ...Unlike the past and the future, nonetheless, the now really exists. Indeed, now is the only time that does exist. In the strictest sense, 'there's no time like now.'
"Kairos, because it is present, is an icon of eternal life. To experience the now, after all, one must be alive. ...the now, the kairos, is an icon of the life of heaven. Indeed, eternal life is an everlasting now, in which there is no sequence, no before and after.
"Eternity is not a long time. ...The infinite is not measurable. Thus, 'when we've been there ten thousand years/ bright shining as the sun/ we've no less days to sing God's praise/ than when we've first begun.'
"Here on earth... the only time we can ever really seize is the now. Now is the present instant, the marked pulsing of the heart, the moment to lay hold on eternity."
maybe this is why even though i have such a serious illness, one of my mantras, given to me out of thin air, has become "oceans of time". whenever i remember, it fills me with happiness.
Life on the Salt Marsh is a journal of what i am learning and experiencing in this breathtakingly beautiful place, where the Dyer and Sheepscot, both tidal rivers, meet and merge.
Sweet Last Days of Summer
Author
- Rev. Mary
- Midcoast Maine
- Rev. Mary is a Unitarian Universalist minister who served congregations in San Francisco, Sonoma County, Houston, Marblehead and Winchester MA, and New Orleans, in a variety of ways. She is President and co-founder of Gulf Coast Volunteers for the Long Haul and has led 14 service trips to Louisiana and Mississippi since a few weeks post-Katrina. She has 3 children, Sam, 22, Julia, 26, and Jason, 41, and the best spouse in the universe, Marty. She was diagnosed with ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease in 2006. Rev. Mary can be reached at duckdreams at gmail.com. Due to her illness her ability to reply is unlikely but she would enjoy hearing from you if that's OK.
From Mary's Journal in December
after simple surgery turned into a nightmare: "the pain has been excruciating and for 3 days was unrelenting, even breathing was an agony. i tried to picture our mallard in maine who i studied one day when it was freezing cold, windy, pouring down rain and he was in his spot in the grass all tucked up and i tried to imagine how he could handle the elements. i decided he must go very deep inside and have duck dreams. so i tried to emulate him."